Archive

Monthly Archives: July 2012

Pop sensation Katy Perry is as much known for her wild outfits as her chart-topping music.

Find the pattern.

I imagine this is what conversations amongst Katy Perry’s costume designers are like:

Head Costumier:  Alright team, which circular items should we put on Katy’s boobs this time? Go on; throw some ideas out there.

Designer #1:  Ummmm…Lazy Susans!

Head Costumier:  Too nondescript.

Designer #2:  Contact case!

Head Costumier:  We’ll see about that.

Designer #3:  Buffalo nickels!

Head Costumier:  Have you seen Ms. Perry’s bosom?!

Designer #3:  Half dollars?

Head Costumier:  Better, but keep going…

Designer #1:  Trampolines!

Head Costumier:  We don’t need any more bouncing.

Designer #2: Faces of Lapland Owls!

Head Costumier:  Again, hooters are aplenty.

Designer Irrationally Hated by the Head Costumier:  Er, I’ve thought of a few ideas:  fingerprints, Chapsticks, firework explosions, pearls…

Head Costumier:  Did I give YOU permission to speak?!  NO!!!  And all of those ideas are terrible!  They could never be incorporated into any of her songs!

Designer # 3:  DVDs!

Head Costumier: Okaaaaaay. More info.

Designer #2: Blu-ray!

Head Costumier:  Still too small.

Designer #1:  Uhhh…Laserdiscs.

Head Costumier:  Sure, the size is right, but are any of you really willing to go out and flip them over halfway through the concert? Ugh, since this doesn’t seem to be working, let’s try this: Lightning round – you guys just spit out whatever comes to mind, and I’ll interject if I hear something intriguing. Go!

Designer #2:   Stove burners!

Designer #3:  Dartboards!

Designer #1:  Camera lens caps!

Designer Irrationally Hated by the Head Costumier:  How about  Ferris wheels?

Head Costumier: You! *points angrily at Irrationally Hated Designer* Day off! Just go home!

Designer #1:  I know!  iPhone home button!

Head Costumier:  That’s it!  It’ll fit perfectly with “E.T.”!  Now, someone go buy a two-pack of party balloons and call up Zooey Deschanel so we can see what this’ll look like before we propose it to Katy!

Hypothetical conclusion to this hypothetical meeting:

Head Costumier:  Here’s the dress, Katy! Finally finished! I remember you said you get hot and cold during your performances, so, this time, we integrated an athletic sweatshirt with cooling properties into the dress.

Katy Perry:  Veeerrry pretty! I like it. Though, this fabric feels rather familiar. What brand did you use? *checks tag*

*throws dress in the trash* *storms off**slams door**intentionally steps on kitten**interrupts and disparages Taylor Swift*

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: